


An apology won't make things right

by orphan_account



Series: An Apology Won't Make Things Right [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Death, Hurt, M/M, Sad, Self Harm, harry was dead but he's not????, idk - Freeform, larry - Freeform, louisnharry, trigger warning, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1204819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis thought Harry was dead. He wasn't, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry was dead but he actually wasn't????? How does Louis react when he finds out?

It had been two years since Louis had lost Harry. They had been touring when Harry collapsed on stage. Nobody could figure out what was wrong. It took them a month to find out that Harry had cancer in his kidneys. The record company and management sent him away to France to relax and have treatment done. Louis saw his boyfriend two days before he died. The older boy had gotten the call at one in the morning. Two days later, Harry was buried. Louis never got to see his beautiful face before he was buried. Management felt it would upset him. Today, Louis was with the rest of the boys to visit Harry's grave.

"We miss you, Harry." Niall said as he placed a bouquet of flowers on Harry's grave. He looked at Louis, sighing softly. He couldn't stand seeing him upset. None of the boys did.. Since Harry had died, Louis wasn't the same anymore. Zayn patted Louis' shoulder gently, giving him a soft smile. "I'm sure he can hear and see us, mate." he said. Little did they know, that there was a curly haired boy, hiding behind a tree and watching the four boys.

Louis couldn't even bring himself to look up as he felt comforting arms wrap around him; he couldn't bring himself to even nod in agreement as he heard the comforting whispers being passed from mouth to ear. It was- it was always so hard, visiting Harry's grave. Since he had gotten the news he had died, Louis had been nursing the hope that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't. He hadn't heard from him, or seen his body- Harry could have simply stepped off the hospital bed and demanded to be considered as dead. But seeing the gravestone - the flowers, the gloom - it seemed to hit Louis harder each time. Harry couldn't have outlived such a serious degree a cancer. And despite how many times Louis had murmured, "Please. For me. Don't be dead." he knew it was true.

"Lou, do you want some time alone?" Liam asked softly, looking at Louis. "We can go wait in the car if you want." Zayn said.

Louis remained still and silent for another long moment, before he finally managed to nod, his voice escaping hoarse and thick. "Please...?"

"Okay. Come on, lets go boys." Zayn told Liam and Niall. The three of them left, leaving Louis alone. Louis felt the need to cry as the other's left. He knew that's what he was expected to do, too - cry, scream, maybe dig himself a grave and spend the night in it. But as he stared at the gravestone, again, that was all he could - stare, and pray the remains of his heart wouldn't tear him apart from the inside. 

Harry bit his lip as he watched Louis from behind the tree. It broke his heart to see him like this. The curly haired boy took a deep breath before hesitantly walking over to Louis. "Louis..." he whispered. 

Louis' breath caught at the sound of his name, and the all too familiar tone - his heartbeat automatically picking up pace within his chest. He couldn't bring himself to turn, though, once again - still, just staring blankly at Harry's gravestone. "Hi.." he replied softly. "Faring well?"

Harry chuckled a bit. "Louis, turn around..." he said.

"No." Louis told him flatly. "I don't want you to go away again. Don't be selfish."

"Louis, turn around. I won't go away." Harry said.

"I don't want to turn around." the blue eyed boy said again, his voice breaking this time. "Please, Harry."

Harry slowly walked closer to Louis and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm here, Boo." he whispered.

Unable to help it, Louis almost instantly tensed- trying his best not to scream and flounder as he turned slowly, and glanced up at the one figure he had hoped he'd get to see again. He couldn't keep himself from screaming though, no matter how badly he had missed him. Louis pulled out from under him, nearly falling over.

Harry bit his lower lip, looking at Louis. "Lou, it's me.. Harry.. I'm here..."

It was after another moment of blatant staring that Louis finally found himself able to sit up- reaching over shakily and placing a hand on Harry's leg. He nearly screamed when it didn't pass straight through him. "Y-you died..." he whispered weakly.

"I didn't.. I'm not dead, Louis..." Harry said softy, looking at the older boy.

Louis wet his lips, and unable to speak, pointed at the gravestone beside him.

Harry sighed, looking at the gravestone. "I know... I'm supposed to be dead... But I'm not..." he mumbled.

Pulling his hand away from Harry slowly, Louis found himself at a loss for what to do; and ended up simply turning away again, and staring at the gravestone.

"Lou.." Harry sighed softly. "Can I explain?"

Louis shrugged one shoulder. He didn't think he could, but he wasn't about to tell his apparently-not-dead band mate to shut the fuck up.

"I never had cancer... When I collapsed on stage, it was because of the stress and exhaustion..." Harry explained. "It was all management's idea... They faked my death and everything else... I didn't want to do it but they said it was in the contract...."

"You..." Louis managed to whisper, looking up at Harry, all his previous relief faded. He just really wanted to punch him. "No..."

"I'm sorry, Louis... I really am sorry..." Harry said quietly, biting his lip. "But if I said no to them, they'd hurt you and the boys... I couldn't let them do that..."

"It's been two years, Harry." Louis replied softly. "I though you were dead for two years."

"I know.. I'm sorry.. I didn't even leave you a note to let you know I was okay..." Harry sighed.

Louis continued to stare at the gravestone for a long moment, before rising to his feet. "I'm going home." he stated flatly.

"No, Louis, please... Don't go.. I love you.." Harry pleaded, his emerald green eyes filling with tears.

"You've survived without me for two years, you'll be alright."

"Louis, please... Those two years were the worse of my life. Every day, I woke up, hoping that I'd see you sleeping beside me but I was alone. I was all alone, locked in a house in France. They didn't allow me to get out, have access to the Internet or any other electronic device.. Please, don't do this to me..."

Louis couldn't keep himself from snorting at that- his previously calm demeanor cracking. "Shut the fuck up, Harry. How do you think those years were on me? I thought you had died, you cunt!"

"Saying sorry doesn't automatically make all of this okay! I fucking thought you had died! I couldn't leave our- my room for a month! I...-I tried to kill myself, Harry!"

Harry's eyes widened when he heard that Louis had tried to kill himself. He was the reason Louis had tried to do this. "Please, Louis... Just give me one more chance... I can't live without you..."

"Is that really how you chose to phrase that? You can't live without me?" Louis scoffed, rolling his eyes. "The boys are waiting for me. I have to go."

"N-no.. Please, Louis.." Harry dropped on his knees, burying his face in his hands and sobbing. "I love you.. Please..."

"Who else knew?" Louis asked. "That you weren't dead, I mean."

"N-nobody else knew. Only management did..." Harry said quietly. 

"You are a horrible person," Louis decided, after another moment of silence. "Goodbye, Harry." 

"P-please, Louis.. Don't do this to me.." Harry sobbed, tears continuing to stream down his face. 

"Don't do this to me?" Louis repeated with a snort. "Do you have any idea what you did to me? Just fuck off." And with that, he turned on his heels and left. 

"N-no.. L-Louis..." Harry whispered, his voice barely audible. 

Ducking his head, Louis started off in the direction he knew the car awaited him, wiping his eyes furiously with the back of his hand. He felt kind of guilty for leaving Harry, honestly. But the bastard had left him for two years. It wasn't fair. 

Harry stayed there, his face buried in his hands as he cried his heart out. Maybe things would've been better if he'd really died...


	2. Together forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is sad as fuck

Louis remained silent during the whole ride back home. He couldn't believe that Harry was not dead. Those two years had been a nightmare for the Doncaster lad and now, Harry had just shown up out of the blue, telling him that he'd never died. How could he not be mad? He thought that Harry was dead, he thought he'd lost him forever. Every day when he woke up, he wished that he could be with Harry; that's why he'd tried to kill himself many times. 

When they arrived home, Louis locked himself in his room without saying a word to the other lads who were worried about him. Kicking his shoes off with ease, he climbed into his bed; trying so hard to hide from the world as he burrowed under the blankets and finally started to cry. 

It wasn't long before the blue eyed boy had successfully managed to cry himself to sleep, though his dreams proved to be even worse than reality. Harry dying, Harry actually being dead. Harry returning and simply expecting an apology would be enough to make up for the fact that Louis hadn't been able to smile in two years. He would forgive Harry. The only thing the curly haired boy had to do was find him and say one simple word, 'Sorry.' 

As Louis tried to escape from his nightmares, Harry sat on the cold bathroom floor of his hotel room, holding a razor in his hands. 

The tears hadn't stopped streaming down his face since he'd left the graveyard and now, he was thinking of ending it all. Just one deep cut and he'd be forever gone from this world. If Louis didn't want him back, then what was the point to live? A shaky sob escaping his lips, Harry pressed the sharp metal on his wrist, making a deep cut. He could feel all the pain run through his body, seeing the blood fall to the floor in small red droplets. But the cut wasn't deep enough. If he wanted to end it all he'd have to make a deeper one, but Harry couldn't stand the pain he was feeling. All the emotional and physical pain was too much for the green eyed boy. He couldn't do this. 

Standing up with shaky legs, he turned the tap on and put his wrist under the cold running water, feeling slightly relieved. He put the razor back into the cabinet, turning the tap off and pulling the sleeve of his hoodie down to cover what he'd done. Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror, thinking this wasn't himself he was staring at for a moment. 

His eyes were a dull green and they were red and puffy from the crying. His curls were tangled and he looked like a complete mess. Red eyes, messed hair and tearstained cheeks. "What have I done?" he asked himself, his voice coming out hoarse. 

He shook his head, walking out of the bathroom and laying on his bed, burying his face in his hands. He regretted everything he'd done. He just wished he could go back in time and fix it all. But that's the problem, he couldn't. If he really wanted Louis back, he'd have to do something. He'd have to find Louis and apologize, apologize until the older lad would accept it. And that's what he did. Harry left the hotel and got into a taxi, going to the house he knew Louis lived with Liam, Zayn and Niall. 

As Harry told the taxi driver the address he couldn't have been more nervous. He didn't know what he was to say or do besides apology many times and fall to his knees begging for forgiveness, which he would have been lucky to get. He wanted nothing more than to have Louis in his arms, them cuddled up in bed together. 

"Fifteen pounds." Harry looked up to the taxi driver then to the house he use to know everyone and everything about it. He handed the money to the driver, stepping out the car. Here goes nothing, he thought as he took a step forward. He waited at the door, raising his hand to knock but letting it fall again. What if Louis never wanted to see him again? What if he had wanted him actually dead? "What do I do?" the curly haired boy questioned to no one but himself. 

He was about to knock on the door when it opened, revealing a now shocked Liam. "H-Harry?" the Wolverhampton lad asked, looking at Harry with wide eyes. 

Harry smiled weakly at Liam. "Hi, Li..." 

Liam opened his mouth to speak but closed it. He blinked, trying to see if Harry would go away but the younger boy stayed where he was. "Y-you're dead..." Liam finally spoke. He was confused and shocked at the same time. 

Harry sighed softly. "I'm not dead... Look, Liam. I know you're shocked but I have to talk to Louis... Please let me see him..." he told Liam. 

Liam stepped aside, letting Harry in. The green eyed boy gave his friend a smile and walked past him, going to the room where he knew Louis would be in. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, chewing on his lower lip as he waited for a response. 

When Louis didn't answer, Harry pushed the door open slightly and looked inside the room. It was just like it was two years ago. Nothing had changed. His eyes fell on the bed, recognising the outline of Louis' body that was hiden under the covers.

Louis' small body was shaking, soft sobs escaping his mouth as he cried. Harry slowly approached the bed, biting his lower lip nervously. "Lou?" he asked softly.

When Louis' heard Harry's voice, he squeezed his eyes shut because he knew that the boy he loved couldn't be here. He was just imagining it. "G-go away... L-leave me alone... Y-you're not real..." Louis said quietly, sounding broken. 

"Lou, I'm here." Harry said, placing a gentle hand on Louis' shoulder, making the older boy jump. "I'm here, Boo... I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry..."

Louis rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, sniffling. He pulled the covers down and sat up, looking at Harry. "How did you get here...?"

"Liam let me in... But I guess I'll have to explain to him and the other lads why I'm not dead... He was pretty shocked." Harry looked at Louis. "Can I.. Can I sit?" 

Louis nodded his head slightly and Harry sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving the feather haired boy. "I'm sorry..." the younger boy said softly.

Louis just nodded, unable to say anything. They both stayed silent for a moment, the only thing that could be heard in the room being their breaths. After a couple of minutes, Louis broke the silence. "I forgive you..." he said quietly, his voice barely audible. 

Harry looked up at Louis, his emerald green eyes shining. "What did you say?"

"I forgive you..." Louis repeated, his eyes meeting Harry's. 

Harry stared at Louis for a moment, not knowing what to say. He blinked, opening his mouth to speak but no words came out. He was taken aback when he felt Louis' soft lips pressed against his, but responded, kissing Louis back after a moment. Their lips moved in sync in a kiss full of love. Their breathing became heavier after a moment and they both pulled away, panting softly.

Harry smiled softly, stroking Louis' cheek with his large hand and pecking the older, yet smaller boy's lips gently. "I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too." Louis whispered back, rubbing their noses together and smiling.

"I'll never leave you again, Lou. I promise. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through these two years..." Harry said.

"S'alright. I forgive you." Louis smiling, connecting their lips again.

Since that day, the two lovers lived together, enjoying their lives together. And Harry kept his promise, never leaving Louis' side.

When they grew old and their time to say goodbye to the world came, they left their last breath together, sleeping in the same bed close to each other. Harry had kept his promise. He'd stayed with Louis until the end, and didn't leave him.

The stayed together forever, being happy in heaven... Because, when your love for somebody is that strong, it remains like that... forever. And Harry would always stay in Louis' heart, and Louis in Harry's.

**Author's Note:**

> to be continued... ;) xx


End file.
